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Ron Hart Columns: Olympics give glimpse of Obama's America

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Olympics give glimpse of Obama's America

August 29, 2008 - Destin Log

By Ron Hart

As a typical Southern male, I have never been a big fan of the Winter Olympics.

Men's figure skating - you know it as ice dancing - and two-man luge just do not seem right to me. They smack of a personal matter between two consenting adults, not sport. My hope is that, if global warming is not the crock (a la Y2K) that I think it is, the upside might be the end of the Winter Olympics.

I thought I wasn't a big fan of the Summer Olympics either, the ones with gymnastics and archery. The Olympic Games combine two things that I do not like: Physical education class and foreigners. Yet by Day 15 of my refusal to watch the Olympics, I have not missed a single night's broadcast.

Just to summarize, I did like the women's beach volleyball. I cannot put my finger on it, but I found that "sport" compelling. For the first time, I felt good about the money I spent on my high-definition TV.

As for women's water polo, somehow it does not have the same appeal. All that neck-high water seems to defeat the purpose and might discourage a strong male viewership. I would suggest putting a shark in the pool; then you'd have something.

Perhaps I should pitch such a show to NBC for the fall reality show line-up. I was hoping that NBC might, just might, do a few emotional personal stories about the athletes set to Chariots of Fire-type piano music. And guess what? They did!

My kids discovered what we adults are reminded of every four years: Bob Costas really is a smart guy and is just a bit taller than a Chinese "woman" gymnast. We also are reminded (by the mainstream media) that even though the world hates America, all the athletes who are able come here to train and live.

This seems an interesting contradiction.

We also confirmed that the air in Beijing is thicker than the smoke in Snoop Dog's limo on a Saturday night.

As expected, Michael Phelps was the American hero in these games. He represented us Americans well by eating 12,000 calories a day while the world watched. Polls indicate that other countries hate America most because of our gluttony. I think Ryan Seacrest was listed as a close second.

China won so many medals that they will probably melt them down and sell them back to Americans in items to be sold at Dollar Tree stores.

For all its attributes, China just does not want to play nice with other countries in the sand box. Understandably, that is a problem for China when none of its people have grown up with sibling rivalry.

They want things their way so much that they proved to us that they do not card their women gymnasts. There is no minimum age in China to compete in the Olympics or to work in a factory, which is where discarded gymnasts end up once they are tall enough to reach the sewing machines.

China did give condoms out to all male American athletes when they arrived, and I am sure they gave extras to our men's basketball team, which is composed of NBA players.

In fact, there are few things in more conflict than Communist China's Draconian one-child policy and the personal conduct of our NBA players.

They probably did not let the players make eye contact with their women.

In the past, the Olympics were more of a test of which country had the best pharmacists and geneticists. If you liked amazing performances followed by tearful apologies, then the Olympics were for you. This year they got the testing right. They even had tests for testosterone levels to make sure some of the women were not actually men. If this test is effective, Janet Reno and Rosie O'Donnell will be tested soon.

As a former man who became a woman, Renee Richards should discuss this. Her/his tennis career, which started at Yale, was cut short when he/she could not pass the Olympic's chromosome test. I remember reading about it in his/her autobiography, which I think was called How to Play Tennis Without Balls.

Overall, the Olympics benefit us by exhibiting how other countries go about their business. We saw how Communist China's government intervenes to organize and control all that its citizens do.

It is good for us, as it will give us a glimpse of what Barack Obama and Nanny Pelosi have in store for America.

2011 Benjamin Franklin Award Winner!

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Columns by Ronald Hart. Ron grew up in Tennessee and began writing a column for his hometown paper in 2002. He attended The University of Memphis and the Institute for Political and Economic Systems at Georgetown University. Ron graduated Magna Cum Laude and was elected student government president. Upon getting his MBA, he went to work for Goldman Sachs. He was appointed to the Tennessee Board of Regents by then Governor Lamar Alexander and is now a private investor. He appears on CNN and has been quoted in numerous publications including the Wall Street Journal. His columns reflect a rare combination of Southern libertarian views and humor. They have been described as "Lewis Grizzard meets P.J. O'Rourke with a dash of Will Roger's horse sense". His columns are carried by 30 newspapers with a total weekly circulation of approximately 1 million readers.